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Family law perceptions, realities: seeing divorce clearly

It is certainly interesting that. notwithstanding the scores of millions of divorces that have been realized in the United States, many media articles and stories continue to cast marital dissolution in terms of failure.

Can it be true that so many people in California and across the country -- parents, siblings, coworkers, casual acquaintances and close friends, and likely many persons reading this post -- are personal failures for not persisting in a marital relationship that ultimately terminated?

The notion somehow seems immediately misplaced and even illogical. One commentator in a recent media piece declaring that divorce is sometimes the only sensible option for dealing with a clearly unworkable partnership calls the depiction of divorce as failure "offensive."

Here's one reason why: High numbers of couples who divorced hardly did so in casual fashion. Rather, and as noted by another contributor to that above-cited piece, they "tried everything" that might conceivably work to shore up their union, ranging from date nights and candid talks to marriage counseling and temporary separations.

And when nothing works and bona-fide best efforts have been unsuccessfully made to shore up a marriage, isn't it eminently sad and counterproductive to a meaningful life for a couple to stay unhappily married and become martyrs to a failed cause?

And what about violence, which spells a very real reality in some American marriages? Is meekly asserting to abuse in order to not rock the marital boat the better part of valor when it comes to a spouse and/or kids suffering from acts of cruelty and brutality?

Every marriage is unique, just as it is equally true that there are singular reasons that factor into divorce considerations and outcomes in every case.

Questioning the motives of people who have tried to make marriage work, and denigrating their divorce decision in the process, seems patently disrespectful and even ignorant.

As the aforementioned article notes, divorce is sometimes "the only imaginable option."

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The Law Office of Karen H. Beckman

The Law Office of Karen H. Beckman
17291 Irvine Blvd.
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Tustin, CA 92780

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